all.. most..

On stormy days it is easy to oversleep a little because the obscurity of the sky feels like evening and because your body senses that it just feels right to stay snuggled up. I overslept a little bit and when i woke up my phone/alarm was in my hand indicating that i had, in fact, heard the alarm even though i had no recollection of that...

On mornings when i am running late it is nice if i can talk a roommate into dropping me off at class, then I don't have to worry about the park-the-car-and-dash-to-class scenario. This morning it was Meg who obliged me. I scurried bashfully into the wooded floor ballet room slid off my gray slip on shes and slid on my pink ballet slippers and found my place at the bar where class had already begun. There, in pink tights, there were ton dues and deg aches... davant... a la second... derriere... (I long to learn french...)

Between Ballet and Acting for Film I have a 3 hour break. And because I had not managed to bring anything but my small bag with me- i knew i would need to go home. and because Meg had driven me, i knew that i would have to walk there..

I was down the last 6 or so pages of Breakfast at Tiffany's. I don't think i have ever really read while walking but i couldn't stop myself.. i.had.to.read... i have no idea how my feet kept moving as i read those last few pages.. the sky was still gray and the wind made the couple of little tears feel cold on my face and dry up fast... as i closed the book and looked up i thought about dishonest hearts, the mean reds, french, 'not knowing what's yours until you've thrown it away' and belonging...

i had reached 100 North and 200 East. There, nestled on that corner, was a tiny white house that said on the side: Provo Bakery. A red sign illuminated the word "Open". Well, I had to go in, 'it was all so wildly romantic'. I knew what the bakery would smell like before i went in- i wasn't disappointed. The girl behind the counter put my poppy-seed and blueberry muffins inside a white paper sack, which was just as it should have been..

As I left the bakery, and looked at the sidewalk, it was clear that someone had swept and cleaned up the area- so I abandoned the sidewalk for the street where i could crunch through the yellow/brown dry fall/autumn leaves.. as i walked the last few feet in the leaves just before reaching home- my mind racing in the pages of what i just read, my hands holding the warm white paper sack, pink tights still on under my sweats, my gray shoes covered in bits of leaves-- i thought to myself...

"not Tiffany's... but almost"...

Sometimes I can feel my bones straining...

i love Sunday naps when it is raining outside the window next to your bed and while you take that nap you dream in images of things you have seen in recent life...

A few weeks ago I saw an original short play called Yellow Umbrellas at school.. It was so innovative and creative and it made me want to make new plays..

Last night I went to see a stage adaptation of Nosferatu. It was unlike anything i has ever seen. They basically recreated the film on stage while filming so the screen above the stage was showing the film/play going on below in 8 mm. black and white film.. They incorporated clips of the original film as well.. it just pretty much blew my mind.. it made me want to make new films.. on stage....


Also in the top 5 were:
-face painting at the Halloween carnival.. nothing gets me like little kids who want me to paint unicorns on their cheeks.. And oh my- when little Asian twins dress up as Micky and Minnie Mouse.. I could just die.. Halloween is more magical with kids involved.

-Rachel as the Hamburgler.. seriously.. the most awesome thing ever.. she made every inch of that costume and she PAINTED those burgers on her tie. Woah..

-There was dancing-- dancing in costumes-- and it was good..

-I pulled off the costume #1 in the anti-sexy halloween costume series.. the lunch lady.
Doesn't get much less sexy.. I cant wait to think of un-sexy costumes for next year...

I really wanted to be YELLE for Halloween (I actually just want to be here when i grow up) but she was way way too sexy and awesome..

stream of consciousness

The blue period happens:

the moon makes the sky look dark blue-
i can see the moon outside my window from my bed-
'my, isn't the moonlight terrible?'-
the moonlight's soundtrack is a train whistle-
i do love stephens mint chocolate marshmallow hot chocolate..
two hot drinks in one evening means that i cant sleep
sometimes empty paper Starbucks cups next to the emergency break are a melancholy sight...
applying the breaks- slowing down something you might have let go smoothly for a while longer.. is not easy..
cars and their breaks cost A LOT of money.. they break sometimes..
money is not real..
you can miss something.. even things that are not real
(i do not miss money tonight.. but i miss some things that aren't/weren't real)
i'd drive home this weekend had i the money and the time..
i will go pretty far out of my way to drive over/walk in/ride through crunchy leaves
'back home kids play in the leaves in the park.. she wants to play a game of hearts'
sometimes it feels like people are always hurting someone or being hurt..
'i don't know which is worse'
which/witch..
i will spend this Halloween rehearsing..
i am an actress. no that's not right...
my heart is always on the line...
got 45's to play at night and books to spend with every weekend..
truman capote creates the best character names
i am holly golightly
(i wish i were as interesting as a character in book)
got books to spend with every weekend
it might be better to stay in..
better in than exposed on the cliffs of the heart...

irony.

Irony is when your heater and your refrigerator break at the same time..

my, that irony can sure be diabolical... then Utah gets in on the game decides to spring an usually cold couple of days on ya' at the same time..

i swear, everything about me has been cold for days.. my toes, my finger tips, my bed, my clothes, my toilet seat... every little thing!!

Everything, that is, except the 2 liter of diet dr. pepper and the rest of the groceries that are inside the one place in the house that is warmer than 55 degrees (that would be the fridge.. it's nice a toasty in there..)

bugger!

it is kinda like rain on your wedding day.. or the free ride when you already paid.. or the good advice that you just didn't take...

wait....

killing me softly...

Oh me.... oh my!

THIS is the most beautiful thing I have heard in a long long time...

The world may belong for you...

Yesterday, I was sitting in physical science and we were talking about Einsteins theory of relativity... the conclusion of the class was that space and time are completely relative.. (the speed of light is the only constant).

I have to say that relative to me, space and time has been flying! The end of the summer exploded like a firecracker and then faded out as quick as it burst open with colors... but it sure was beautiful and here are just a few reasons why:

The Kindreds hit the Outside Lands in San Francisco
(where my heart still resides)


It felt a lot like this:


And at the same time like this:


San Francisco was only to be followed by the flat flat lands in Indianan with Papa..

How I wish life always felt as magical as:
Dotty's for breakfast- out.side.lands. golden gate park- beck singing lost cause- m. ward playing all of post war- radiohead, playing my favoritefavorite songs- cooooookie pies- china town with em- CHACHA!- dancing on trash cans to tom petty- my toes in the pacific ocean- devendra bandhart dancing and jumping- grace cathedral hill- hanging out the side of cable cars on the way to the ocean with people who "never happen"- the view of the golden gate- wilco and the mountain beds- Stars taking me to the riot- broken social scene dreaming about me- bon iver screaming 'what might have been lost!'- hot chocolate- hide away beds- the squat and gobble- airplanes with magazines- symphony on the prairie- sunset walks on the monon trail- covered bridges- those wide and lovely corn fields- laughing at the old photo albums with dad (who was there for all of it)- and the many more more more magic moments that were the last 2 weeks of summer...

You know, Einstein also theorized that if we could ride a beam of light and look back at a clock it would appear that time was standing still, and as we approach the speed of light, time appears to slow down...

There are times in life (like the above) that I would really like to ride that beam of light and slow things down.. it all goes so fast.. do any human beings realize life while they live it?? ... (sigh) the world may belong for you, but it will never belong to you...

i am feeling better now...

la la la, la la la....

9th & M

yes-its true that, as previously stated, life sometimes feels like a brown paper grocery sack...

And it is also true that sometimes life feels like a moment on a swing when you reach weightlessness...

when you are not moving backward or forward... you are a color and you are floating.. it feels a little like flying, a little like space travel, a little like bubbles or clouds...
like a feather..

it's especially magical if its 70 something degrees out and your ipod just instinctively shuffled to the worlds most perfect song.. and no one else is there so you can sing loudly and slide off key in the second verse and get goosebumps as you belt the chorus..

and the sky is still reflecting blue even though the sun set hours ago.. and the grass, mixed with the blueish black hue of the sky, is a deeper green.. and it reminds you of the green in the hills from that morning when you drove with your windows down..

and your fingers loosen their grip on the chain links of the swing as you reach the highest point.. because they trust that feeling.. they believe you are weightless..

and you are not cars or telephones or clean getaways or lonesome fuel for fire or stacks or ohmygodwhatever etc...

you are a feather.

feel infinite. feel alive. feel summer.

(i relish it)

ok go, shhmokay go..

check out these moves!

">

ready for the floor...

sometimes life is like a brown paper grocery sack...
and sometimes you are walking out to your car, and the bottom of that sack gives out.. and everything tumbles on down to the floor while you do your best impression of a juggler and try to catch it all with your pinkies and toesies... (gravity always wins).

In these cases it is pretty much impossible to save face. You cant really NOT look like a dummy when you just spilled all your freshly purchased groceries all over the asphalt..

And then you might feel some other things besides dumb (like angry..angry at yourself for not being more careful or angry because you asked that bagger-person, specifically to please to double bag so that it wouldn't happen to you again.. or .. or maybe exasperated that you have to clean it all up etc etc.)

but most of all, you just feel like a foolish.. like a dummy... embarrassed..

at those times in life, its best when people you really really like are around.. because, while they simpathize with your 'spilled milk' situation.. they cant help but start laughing really hard at you.. and pretty soon you are laughing really hard..then you are on the ground amoung the spilled groceries, its not like it didnt happen, but it's not so bad because you needed a really good laugh.. and then you don't mind so much that you look like a dummy because, hey, it's really funny.. and you are laughing and its nice to be alive..

and you know? broken bags.. spilling.. looking like a dummy.. laughing. that is exactly what makes life interesting..

what would life be if grocery bags didn't rip open every now and then?

intuition/ impulsion.

I don't just buy things on an impulse very often. Especially not expensive things like air plane tickets. But yesterday I just decided that it had been much too long sense i had...
It's high time I had a little of this:
AND this!!!!!
and perhaps a little of this
and that

I think Britannie said it best, 'there are not enough exclaimation points in the world right now!!'

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

make believe/maple leaves...

tonite i revisited some tom robbins.. its been about a year...
(i know i have mentioned it before.. but its worth re-mentioning..)

"who knows how to make love stay?
1.Tell love you are going to Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake and if love stays it can have half. It will stay.
2. tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to pain a mustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay.
3. Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and asure love that everything is going to be alright. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning."

And I also started making this tonight:

(its a collage based on a poem by cummings.. "the spring has been exquisite and the summer may be beautiful... and believe (do not believe) they'll be a time when even these leaves will crawl expensively away" it needs more work..)


But you know what is really awesome??
this:

lunch with those ladies everyday please.

insomnia etc.

jeff tweedy says that when he forgets how to talk he sings..

when i foget how to sleep i write sad droopy poems..

here's the latest.. composed saturday night.. when i was not sleeping..

Em-
tea?
Just a cup,
maybe??
fill it up
(said she)
fill it up
for me
because I'm
Em-
pty
like a cup
you see?
like a factory
and I cant sleep,
you see?
and everyone far away
from me
oh fill it up
please
so needlessly
needy
could the problem be
that I am just
em
tea
I'll pour a cup
for me-
empty
em
ily

(i feel like i shouldn't post nerdy crap like this that i write. but i sent the poem to my friend james today and he had a lot of things to say about it.. one of the things he said was that he thought a lot of people would relate somehow.. so i decided to post it...)

And, also, I slept like a baby last night. so yay!

terrible horrible no good very bad day

that is what i had yesterday... mostly it was just work that was awful.. 8 hours of hell and the only thing that got me through it were the 80's mix Cd's that John made me.. i think "space age love song" by flock of seagulls literally kept me from murdering someone yesterday..

when i have bad days, i fell how far away everyone is..

so, i wrapped myself up in my 'i'm a pepper' pj's, made myself a cup of hot chocolate- with hazelnut and Cinnamon, of course, and i let M. Ward sing me lullaby's in bed for about an hour till i fell asleep..

i think... that i am a loser, but i guess i don't mind.

Also, this is my new favorite thing in the whole world..
">

other voices...

Upon receiving many a threat upon my life and my sisterhood eligibly from Mindy,dear- I decided I better read this:
I could immediately see why she was drawn to it; the novel was immediately charming.. I mean, 100 year old African American farmers named Jesus Fever who own mules named John Brown and name their daughters things like Missouri and call her "Zoo" for short -twins named Idabel and Florabel .. all of those kind of things are super great...

but it wasn't until i reached page 141 that i was convinced that it was one of the best books i had ever, ever read... I didn't understand the importance of the character of Randolph at first. All the other characters seems to affect Joel (the protagonist) in much more interesting ways.. and "Randolph" what kind of a name is that next to "Jesus Fever"? (I mean honestly..)

But then Randolf started saying things like this:

"Let me begin by telling you that I was in love. An ordinary statement, to be sure, but not an ordinary fact, for so few of us learn that love is tenderness and tenderness is not, as a fair proportion suspect, pity; and still fewer know that happiness in love is not the absolute focusing of all emotion in another: one has always to love a good many things which the beloved must come only to symbolize; the true beloveds of this world are in their lover's eyes lilac opening, ship lights, school bells, a landscape, remembered conversations, friends, a child's Sunday, lost voices, one's favorite suit, autumn and all seasons, memory, yes, it being the earth and water of existence, memory. A nostalgic list, but then, of course, where could one find a more nostalgic subject?..."

I don't think that i blinked from page 141 to page 154... I am almost finished with it, but i have slowed down because i know i will be sad to finish.. i think everyone should read this book. As my sister put it, its a really amazing coming of age story- just as import and, and beautiful Catcher in the Rye or any of the great coming of age stories. This one holds my particular attention because of Capote's clear emphasis on the importance of getting to know ourselves.. and the great challenge thereof.

The inside cover of the book quotes a very interesting scripture.. Jeremiah 17:9,

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"

Indeed, who can??

Last night...

">
Oh god, its raining
But Im not complaining
Its filling me up
With new life

The stars in the sky
Bring tears to my eyes
Theyre lighting my way
Tonight

And I havent felt so alive
In years

Just for a day
On a day like today
Ill get away from this
Constant debauchery

The wind in my hair
Makes me so aware
How good it is to live
Tonight

And I havent felt so alive
In years

The moon
Is shining in the sky
Reminding me
Of so many other nights
But theyre not like tonight

Oh god, its raining
And Im not containing
My pleasure at being
So wet

Here on my own
All on my own
How good it feels to be alone
Tonight

And I havent felt so alive
In years

The moon
Is shining in the sky
Reminding me
Of so many other nights
When my eyes have been so red
Ive been mistaken for dead
But not tonight

dinner attire

my favorite time of day has been recently renamed "the dinner hour"..
it was nice spending the dinner hour with Andrew Bird..

Andrew bird was wearing red stripped socks and when the yellow light hit them just right they looked pink...

we were really close to the magic. i was wearing a happy, happy face.
(just too bad that the happy face ended up looking like that in the picture)

sit. feast on your life.

So i feel like my blog posts are really just the same format over and over lately.. a picture or two, a poem.. booooring.. well, i am sorry for that, i really am.. i will try to refrain from posting poems for the next couple of weeks.. after this post, promise.promise.

i just had the best morning this morning. i got up, not too early, but early enough and i got dressed and i rode my bike to the temple.. i listened to sigur ros all the way there.. i was early for the session so i had time to sit and think..

i wasn't in a hurry when the session was over so i walked around the grounds for a while, just quiet. i ended up inside the JS Memorial Building and from there i took the elevator up.. i was just going to sit on the cushioned window seat and look out at the city..\
but after a few minuets of that, i decided to buy myself lunch at The Garden... so there i sat, at a perfect small white table.. i didn't pull out my ipod, i didn't pull out my book, i just sat quietly and alone.. i thought about miss gallo and how she used to give us assignments to do things like that, to go out alone, to eat or to the movies, and to pay attention to who we were when we were alone and then i thought about this poem:

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Love after Love, Derek Walcott

It was nice to sit and feast on my life. and it was nice to feast on that Avocado BLT as well.. it was really quite delicious.

Camelot... etc.

i am no longer in my early twenties. i am in my mid twenties.. this is an odd thing.

a couple of weeks ago i drove past my old preschool out in West Jordan, Utah..
i stopped to take a picture:

it used to be called "Camelot Academy".. i went to preschool at Camelot.. that explains a lot of things..

i don't know how exactly to articulate how i feel about turning twenty five, so i will let e.e.cummings say a little bit about it:

may my heart always be open to little
birds who are the secrets of living
whatever they sing is better than to know
and if men should not hear them men are old

may my mind stroll about hungry
and fearless and thirsty and supple
and even it it's Sunday may i be wrong
for whenever men are right they are not young

and may myself do nothing usefully
and love yourself so more than truly
there's never been quite such a fool who could fail
pulling all the sky over him with one smile

Venticinco!

So this is how the first day of my twenty fifth year played out...

It started with a lil bit of this around midnight at village inn:

Then there was sleeping in and a few hours of this:

Then, of course, there was this:

And then!!!:

Which to us looked a little something like this:
(photo by liz)
(please note how all of us have our left fists in the air.. rocking)



and it ended like this:


Happy birthday to me!!!

"smites" is a great word..

My friend James sent me this quote the other day.. i think that it's just so interesting..

i don't want to be cynical.. i don't want to be disliked.. i really dislike the idea of those two things..

i'd like to always be naive enough to believe in myself...

It’s the naïve people who become the true artists. First, they have to be naïve enough to believe in themselves. Then, a performer—especially an actor or actress—must be naïve enough to keep on trying, using his talent, in spite of any kind of discouragement or double cross. He doesn’t pay attention to setbacks. In his ingenuousness he doesn’t know a setback when it smites him. Money doesn’t concern him. But most importantly, when he reaches the top and becomes famous, he doesn’t change. “That person wouldn’t hurt me,” is your unconscious reaction when one of these actors comes on the screen or walks across the stage. Even when he plays a villain (like Lionel Barrymore) he does it with such enormous, hardworking good will that you see the truth underneath and continue to like him. But the minute the cynical person walks in front of the camera—it picks up. It photographs. You know it. Your feel it. You dislike him.
--Mack Sennett, King of Comedy

i just want to be your firecracker..

So Thursday the 3rd of July was my last day at the elementary school.. i am really going to miss faces like this:
Awww, man. That picture kills me! It might be my favorite picture in existence right now..

The 4th of July was spent in Vegas.. and good thing too because i am pretty positive that there is nowhere else in the world you would be able to see the Liberty Bell on top of slot machines:
Yep, Vegas is awesome! America is awesome! Yep, Yep, Yep!

Yeah.. so, i am just going to go ahead and say that was the best 4th of July ever.ever.ever.

i feel like.. you (might not) like me... if you met me..

i was a lucky duck when i was a sophomore in high school. An audition came up for a play and for some reason not that many theatre majors opted to audition for it, but i did. i worked my little tooshie off to be ready for that audition and then.. it came. i was called back and then, amazingly, i was cast! I was cast as a lead role in a main stage production with mostly upperclassmen my sophomore year. A miracle.

I think it had a little to do with the work I did, a little to do with timing and a lot to do with luck.. but that show seemed to set the stage for high school. From then on I kept working really really hard and found myself getting cast in things that I really wanted to participate in and it was fantastic. But it wasn't completely fantastic for a few reasons. One, it was not really <>preparation for the rejection that I would encounter upon entering the 'adult world'. I think that acting is one of the hardest professions in the world because you are constantly being rejected and because it is about you and how you act, it feels so so personal. I didn't feel a lot of that in high school but what i did feel in high school was the sense of unfairness of it all. I would get cast and I would be so excited to start this new project knowing that it would help me grow and shape me in some new way... but after looking at my name printed on the cast list, i saw behind those letters all of the names of the girls who thought their name could've been on it.. all the people who worked really hard on their audition as well. A lot of these girls were really really good friends of mine and I knew they were talented and amazing and underappricated and I hated that all of that was happening to them. I wanted to kick something hard for them.. they were supportive and loving but i knew there were probably many times when they thought, 'damn emily.. could you just not audition for this one, or something??.. just leave this one alone'.. And i thought about it a lot.. i thought about not auditioning for things.. i wondered if it would make it any better. i wondered if they would get cast if i didn't.. and i also wondered if they would have been happy with whoever got cast as long as it wasnt me...

i remember how weird it felt to feel such opposing emotions at once.. excitment and joy and also resentment for myself and the situation and confusion and a little bit of sadness.. it was really hard to know that i didnt really deserve it any more than they did.. and it was hard to not feel like i was stealing from them in some way. they work hard. they are awesome. why don't they get it?

things always come around though.. i found myself after high school in college with one of the girls that i respected so much in high school who was underappricated but none the less incredibly tallented.. she had always stuck out to me in high school, her work was always sensitive, honest and brilliant and she was rarely cast. At the university, there was this one audition for this one play and in the play there was this one role.. and i really really wanted it.. its one of the roles i just want to play before i die, i still would die to play it.. i worked hard to get ready for the audition but... guess who got cast.. yep, she did.. if i remember correctly, i didnt even get called back. she had no idea how much i wanted it, i never told her.. but while i was sorely disappointed that i didn't get it, i was glad she got it..

i guess.. welp, i guess i have just been thinking about that lately.. about feeling many things and once and about who i am.. yeah, those experiences in high school meant so much to me, and yes i grew and they have literally made me into who i am.. but maybe i should have just backed off some in high school.. paid more attention.. respected more boundaries.. maybe it wasnt about who got 'cast' as much as it was just about me backing off.. maybe i should have just sat some of those auditions out, left them alone.. but i didn't..

and what does that really say about me? ... i wonder (not unlike tegan and sara) if i wouldn't like me if i met me..

that has to be the worst combination of feelings.. excitement and joy contrasted against guilt and embarrassment and the weight of the emotions of other people who you truly respect admire and like.. not good.. not good at all..

But, while I am still learning about all of these things in the context of my life as an actress and my life in general, I take some consolation in knowing that i have pure intentions.. i don't ever mean to be a jerk.. i take consolation also in the fact that i certainly now felt my share of rejection, injustice, heart trampling etc. etc.. i guess its just part of growing up.. hope i get it figured out more and more as i go...

i'll write you a post card, part 2.

Just because it's too good not to share.

(thank you britannie, my always kindred in all things)

AMERICAN SONNET

We do not speak like Petrarch or wear a hat like Spenser
and it is not fourteen lines
like furrows in a small, carefully plowed field

but the picture postcard, a poem on vacation,
that forces us to sing our songs in little rooms
or pour our sentiments into measuring cups.

We write on the back of a waterfall or lake,
adding to the view a caption as conventional
as an Elizabethan woman's heliocentric eyes.

We locate an adjective for weather.
We announce that we are having a wonderful time.
We express the wish that you were here

and hide the wish that we were where you are,
walking back from the mailbox, your head lowered
as you read and turn the thin message in your hands.

A slice of this faraway place, a width of white beach,
a piazza or carved spires of a cathedral
will pierce the familiar place where you remain,

and you will toss on the table this reversible display;
a few square inches of where we have strayed
and a compression of what we feel.
-Billy Collins

How i love billy collins and postcards..

i'll write you a postcard. i'll send you the news

Yesterday after work I swung by the used bookstore and much to my surprise there were all kinds of tables set up outside. I thought they were all book tables but on the north side of the door there was a man sitting watching over two tables full of shoe box sized boxes all stuffed with vintage post cards. I fell in love immediately. I was stuck there in that spot thumbing through post cards for over an hour. I would have stayed longer, if I could have. The man selling them was one of the most awesome collectors I have ever met. He offered me a beer, and when I declined thankfully, he offered a diet Pepsi.. And as I opened the diet Pepsi he gave me a "cheers". We were already such good friends. I think I ended up buying twenty something post cards.. Here are a few of my favorites: (the pictures are bad and wont do them justice.. but thats ok)

adorable:


Got this one for my brother. The date on it is 1905.


I'll probably frame this one (love the colors):


Got this one for my Pa'


This one was post marked Paris July 6, 1920 the writing on the back is obviously from a red cross nurse writing to say she is about to come home and how the journey across the sea, back home, will take about three weeks...



What is more romantic that post cards... i ask you? I think I will start collecting them..

Red Box!

So, Liz kinda pokes fun at me because I pretty much visit this daily...


But, as I was telling Liz today, I kind of justify watching a ton of movies all the time by counting it as research. After all, this is my career choice, so I actually should be watching lots of movies, right? 3 or more trips to the red box a week.. that ain't a crime, is it?

Besides, I miss a lot of amazing movies in the theatres. I need Red Box. Here are just a few of the amazing movies I have gotten from a red box lately.

There Will Be Blood. Daniel Day Lewis. Daniel Day Lewis. Daniel Day Lewis!! I should for sure be studying him! Such an amazing actor..


I really respect Natalie Portman. I might go so far as to say that she is my hero in some ways.. I kind of wish I had her career.. kind of a lot. I mean, The Darjeeling Ltd, Paris je'taime.. arg.. I want to make those movies. This one was pretty good too.


Umm, the Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is one of the best and most beautifully done films I have seen in a long time. I think Casey Affleck has grown into one of the best actors out there today.. He seriously floored me with his performance in this film.. he should be studied. Pitt was awesome as well, as was everyone. Every freaking actor in this movie was amazing..


See, all off these great movies for $1 out of a red box!

(Maybe Liz is right though, maybe I should invest in Netflicks)

I am ready...

Really cant get enough of this:


Ohhh and:

I'm a big fan, turns out.

All of the babies can feel the world, that's why they cry..

I never get the flu. I never get the flu. I never get the flu.

This week... I got the flu.

I learned that, when it comes to the flu, I am such a baby.. when I got really sick in the middle of the night I really wanted to walk down the hall to my mom's room and wake her up make her take care of me.
(Side note: waking up my mom in the middle of the night is always really really funny because she jumps about 10 miles every time. I always get scared that she's scared and repeat as many times as fast as i can,'it's ok, it's me, it's ok, it's me.. (repeated)' and then I laugh really hard because, gosh, her face is just so awesome...
Then I realized that my mom and that hallway were something like 600 miles away.. being a grown up sucks sometimes.

On the other hand, I am surprised by how many people have stepped in and have been really great at taking care of me. People have made me feel so good, I almost want to get the flu more often to relish the sick friend benifits..

Ehh, no.. I take that back. The flu sucks.

I got the flu while I was at home this weekend.. my family had it.. but this made it totally worth it:



Meeting little Avery for the first time is worth a googleplex of flu days..

While you were....

So, i was thinking about something...

6 years ago when my mom was getting married to Tyler.. i was in Grover's Corners getting married to George Gibbs.. (sorry i couldn't be there ma)


3 years ago when my brother got married in Jamaica and my whole family spent a week there.. i was in El Salvador (sorry i couldn't be there Pablo)


Last night when little Avery was born, I was in ancient Greece, well, Corinth to be exact.. trying to talk Medea out of murdering her own children..
(sorry i couldn't be there little Avery-girl)

Sometimes, i feel far, far away...

But i am so glad that she is here. The lady of the hour. Miss Avery Hale.

8 lbs and 10 oz. And I reaffirm what I knew before... my sister Mindy is a superhero.. i know that she is my hero, anyway.

Jackpot!!

Oh boy O boy!!! Lookie what I found today!!

Eeeee! This made my whole day! I have always loved me some fats domino. This was like today's special treat... to me. I had no idea this existed!

A few of my favorites include:
I'm Walkin - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
My Blue Heaven - Norah Jones
It Keeps Rainin' - Robert Plant with Lil' Band o' Gold
I Want to Walk You Home - Paul McCartney and Allen Toussaint
I Hear You Knockin' - Willie Nelson
I'm In Love Again/All By Myself - Bonnie Raitt and Jon Cleary

And more.. more.. more...

Murderous Medea.

Medea opens this week. On Wednesday.
I have learned some new things with this first little attempt at Greek Theatre.

I have learned, for example, that it is not easy to deliver lines like, "She will be tripping in the snare and falling into the trap of destiny and wretched death: it's closing and she won't get free"
Lots of 25 cent words in there, as Ms. Hampton would say.




I also learned some about masks, especially Greek ones. Had a hard time to be honest. I mean, I think the picture says it all but really, Peter Hall wrote a pretty interesting book called, "Exposed by the Mask". He said that 'the Greek mask was enigmatic, uncertain representing human confusion and, 'above all the mask is the tool of the imagination. A metaphor. An audience can see on it infinite emotions.'

Also, by working on this project with this tiny acting company I have reaffirmed the notion that it is not easy.. being in love with a dying art form. Theatre needs you to watch it. There is mind blowing theatre out there and there could be more of it, if people went to watch it. And while I cant promise that this will be the best theatre ever produced, I still think people should watch theatre. If you want to start this week by watching Medea, sounds good to me. Heck!, I'll be there.

And while you are at it this week, go to Janelle's art show in Provo. Be well rounded, go ahead.

Side walk chalk, radio talk etc...

Just a few more reasons why spring and summer are way more awesome than winter.

Picnics








Side.Walk.Chalk.








Fires













Popsicles/Ice Cream

















Watercolors (they just dont feel right in the winter)











Kites (lady(bug) in the sky with diamonds)










Dirt.















Mornings (like this morning)... off
/freedom to read whatever you like...












Ppppfffffff!!!! Winter aint got nothin' on spring.