sometimes you are where you were
and it feels the same and also it feels different.
a couple of days ago i was sitting on a rickety old bus- on my way back to where we are staying. no one was sitting next to me on the bus- there were other passengers, but we were all spread out... i pulled out a book- a really great book that intrigues me and makes me think.. but i couldn't read it. i didn't want to look down, i wanted to look out -the window. this place is so green. i remembered, but i almost forgot how green...
as we bumped along and i stared out the window, untouched book in lap, an older man boarded the bus.. he did not pay the quarter to ride and i assumed that very soon he would start either a religious "bus sermon" or he was going to start selling something-- because that is what almost always happens on the bus..
but this old man, in his wrinkly tan colored pants and dark shirt just stood and the front of the bus. He took his blue hat (not a baseball cap. a hat) he took it off his head and scrunched it up in the fists of both of his hands and held it directly in front of his chest. I noticed then that he was even older than i first thought.. he was probably in his 60's. He slowly closed his eyes and he held them shut tightly so there were little lines all round them... his round face looked even more round as he held his eyes closed and opened his mouth slightly...
he started to sing.. a song.. some heartbreaking song i had never heard before.. likely a classic here- and if the bus was quiet before-- it was silent as his finished the last verse..
all i remember of the song were the last words to come out of his mouth.. he sang, 'la pobreza se lleva al corazon' (poverty is carried in the heart)..
as he walked past my seat with his hand out, i handed him a quarter and i thought how amazing it was to be back where i had learned something before (this time i am wearing jeans).. and how maybe i had forgotten some of the things i had learned... and maybe i was learning new things (in my jeans)..
and i thought.. 'it's nice to be back in a place that i have not forgotten-- and to see that it has not forgotten me'..
and i thought.. i really hope i can help..
(what i see out the bus window sometimes)