you have to marry me, Howard!

So- in the 7th grade I had a mad crush on this boy who wrote poems inside of a sketchbook, had long bleached blond hair and wore Marlyn Manson T-Shirts to school... that lasted years. I moved away and we wrote letters back and forth (we never got into email-- we kept it old school)...

I thought I might never have a crush like that again until the day I set foot on campus at the Las Vegas Academy. It was there that I met Matt Goubler. Oh Matt Goubler, Matt walk around campus with your hands in your pockets, always looking amazingly mysterious/charming/adorable Goubler.. Matt Goubler was my Jordan Catelano..

He actually ushered me into my audition for the Academy and through all the parts of my audition. I wrote pages and pages about that in my journal. That year he also played Howard in Picnic at LVA-- and that hat made me love him even more.. The cover to the program (yes i still remember) said, "what can you do with the love that you feel?" Coincidence? I think not! The character who plays opposite him begs him to marry her sayin, 'you have to marry me Howard.' And I would repeat that with Tonopah and other girlfriends whenever I thought about Matt Goubler..

Most crushes just disappear, like Mr. 7th grade-- but some of them, like Matt turn into famous actor or model or artists

You may have seen my first high school crush in Life Aquatic (the intern) or maybe one of 60 something episodes of criminal minds.. maybe modeling for Marc Jacobs or Louis Vuitton... or maybe you have seen him in one of these collages that some 16 year old girl probably posted on the internet..


Oh the ones that get away...
(he didn't even know my name- but i am sure we were meant to be)



side note: Mr. 7th grade is a major scene-ster in SLC. He works at the Urban Lounge. I see him all the time. Life's awful funny.