humanity, i'm sorry.

humanity,

tonight i am thinking about you..
are you thinking about me?
i am thinking about you and i am hoping that you really needed the money. i am hoping that you had a very sick child somewhere that just needed a prescription. i am hoping you needed to help someone else or i am hoping you were just too hungry and cold to stand it anymore.. i am hoping that it helped you.
i am thinking about you, out there in the cold.

are you thinking about me? did you think about me? Did you picture me walking out to the car and opening the door? did you know it would be a few moments before i realized that the shinny blue-green pieces were not snowflakes or glitter, but broken glass.. that the broken glass was piled in the seat where my purse was sitting just one hour ago...

did you go through the memories in my wallet, the notes, fortunes from cookies and concert tickets? did you read the notes written in the margins of the book i just started; did you see the sticky note in chapter two? did you did you turn on the camera that was inside the bag and look at my face, at the faces of the first graders and I making apple cider earlier today... were you at all sorry?

did you think about how it snowed this morning and how it will probably snow tonight and how i would drive home cold, shaking and afraid.. did you know i have never had anything stolen from me before?

did you know that people would tell me that i was a fool for leaving my purse in the car? that i was a fool to trust that you wouldn't steal from me? i believed in you. i believed that you wouldn't... did you know that?

humanity, tonight i am sorry that you made them all right about you.