it warms up and i crave folksy female voices.. and poetic lyrics, like this: I’ll rent a house somewhere I’ll listen to Biosphere and all I see there a straight line in the atmosphere every hour will be longer and I’ll linger with pleasure the only visitor I will invite is the whispering wind or the sunlight I’ll leave all disturbants at home the evening papers and the telephone but I’ll bring my memories despite everything I hope life will miss me maybe this is wishful thinking and maybe I’ll just keep on sinking but sometimes it’s enough to know that there is a place where everything is on hold where the hours will be longer and I’ll linger with pleasure -ane brun (listen here)
"We're only really thinking when we can't think out fully what we're thinking about!" -Goethe
"Life in its paradox is a balance between boredom and anxiety-- growth and stability... Only when we are challenged, do we muster additional energy and focus. To obtain maximum meaning, we must be stimulated by challenge, but not overcome by anxiety. Challenge is good until it is perverted by isolating it from meaning... The problem with life and art is that means become confused with ends. Technique becomes more important than the meaning of the image.. The how of living becomes more important than the why of living.."
-Grant L. Lund
-so, at least i know that i am "really thinking"
if you have time to read the whole lecture "What Makes a Good Image? What Makes a Good Life?" by Grant L. Lund, I would highly recommend it. Especially if you are involved, on any scale, with art. It's really enlightening.
".. and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning."
One of the loveliest books ever. Highly recommended.
Pepita frowned, hunting for a word that would close the matter.
It wasn't... it wasn't... brave," she said. And then she would say no more. She carried the letter off into her own room and could be heard tearing it up. Then she got into bed and lay staring into the darkness... And Dona Maria sat down to her dish amazed. She had never brought courage to either life or love. Her eyes ransacked her heart.. Tomorrow I begin a new life.. At last she cleared away the table and sitting down wrote what she called her first letter, her first stumbling misspelled letter in courage... "Let me live now," she whispered.
so, containers. i have to fight myself not to hoard them. i stew over every oatmeal sphere and cereal box before forcing myself to throw them away.. all the while searching for how i might justify saving them. shoe boxes, orange juice bottles.. everything. i always think i am going to use them for something clever and creative... i am going to be so glad i kept them. (this is rarely the outcome when i do save them.)
these are just a few of the containers i have justified holding on to..they are currently taking up space in my bedroom.
i actually believe there is some incite into my personality here. i'm a holder. i hold on to everything. things from 2 months ago, things from 2 years ago.. it's what you might call a "suitcase heart" (if you wanted to talk about it lyrically)
The weepies suggest "letting the whole thing go." Florence and the Machine says "you cant carry it with you if you want to survive." And gee wiz, other people are so good at this!!.. so good at letting things go- at forgetting- at throwing it away when it's empty.
i admire this. i make it my new ambition.
i am closing the suitcase!
AND here is the anthem of the new revolution! RUN FAST!